I never should have had that last drink. I shouldn’t have had the first nine either. But I did. Unfortunately I tend to stagger to the left when I’m looped, so when I left the bar it was to the left I staggered. To the right might have been better. There was a plasma donation center there and I would have most likely been thrown out. But to the left, the direction my foggy mind had taken me, stood a sketchy looking storefront. I was welcomed with open arms into the Pleasure and Pain Tattoo Parlor.

My blurry eyes however had only seen the “Pleasure” part of their overhead neon sign. The rest of the words were burned out and unreadable in the dark. Pleasure! Sounds like my kind of place. What could go wrong here? I staggered in.

I was greeted by a dreadlocked, leather vested heavyweight who’s massive arms looked like two roadmaps. He smiled showing teeth that had been filed into sharp points and in a deep raspy voice said “Have a seat brother.” He helped me into what seemed to be a slippery red vinyl barber chair and tilted it back. “So relaxing” I thought. I settled in comfortably and felt like taking a long nap.

“What’s your pleasure?” Asked the burly bearded artist. “Pleasure?” I thought. That sounded great! Just what I needed. “Surprise me” I mumbled as I drifted off into a semi-comatose la la land.

“Something burns” I thought when two hours later my heavily lidded eyes slowly began to blink open. I think it’s me! It’s my face! Suddenly in a jolt I was wide awake. “Where am I? What’s going on?” I asked with a feeling of dread.

A sinister smile spread across the massive face that loomed over me and a hand held mirror appeared above me. The Joker? Bozo the clown? Ronald McDonald? Noooooooo! Please, please NOOOOOO!

I never drank again.

Published by Daniel McGeorge

Much has happened during my long life. Living, loving, laughing, crying, thriving and scraping by. Fighting in a war in a far away land, working an assembly line, driving a truck, living and working in a mortuary, selling Fuller Brush products door to door, hawking carpet over the phone. This all led to an exciting professional career as a speech pathologist and educator. Planes, trains, and automobiles have taken me across the world, from the hills and valleys of Ireland to the peaks of the Himalayas. From the Rockies of Alberta and the lakes of Nova Scotia to the dusty roads of Mexico. I’ve trekked the swamps of Florida, the bayous of Louisiana and the shores of our mighty Great Lakes. London, Shanghai, Bangkok, Mumbai, and Kathmandu have all welcomed me into their experience. Even the remote hill country of Guizhou China opened its arms to me. It’s been a great life so far. And there is so much more to do. Why don’t you come along for the ride through the Stories From My Mind?